Keep the vows you have taken.
These can be vows of becoming and staying Buddhist, or they can be vows of marriage or commitment. They can be vows of non-violence. They can be vows of chastity, or if you are a religious person, vows of poverty, simplicity, obedience. They can be vows of upholding the laws of the country you are protecting. They can be vows of Light. Take seriously what you have agreed to take on and keep to it. Whatever it may be.
Refrain from outrageous conduct.
This doesn't mean cut your creative expression of individuality. It doesn't mean throw out the neon yellow and pink high-tops or cut your hair in a conservative style. It does mean that when you are in the world, being compassionate, helping out "others", that you don't create further separateness between yourself and those "others". They are us and we are them, inseparable. Don't become the flashy "hero" with all the press who rescues the "victims". Go deeper into the situations and step forward to examining what is going on from all angles. (When we help others, it is ourselves we are helping. It is ourselves who ultimately benefit.) Politicians often make a huge deal about the deals they have "cut"--spotlighting themselves as the saviors in the emergency situation. Looking deeper, we can see how that spotlight is the real reason help was given--not out of true commitment and compassion, but to accelerate the public persona of the politico. We need to be unafraid to put the lens of self-knowledge and self-examination (gently)on ourselves to understand what we are really doing--then, to use that knowledge to balance ourselves. To learn to truly "see" whom we are reaching out to, and why, and what needs to be done, without the hoopla of public thanks. Not so easy, this, since we have been taught, as Americans, that being a "hero" means lots of publicity and that only by seeing our name in the press validates our work. What is behind that? What needs in ourselves are being fulfilled by that? What does it do to the "victims"? How do they see themselves in such a situation?
Finally: Cultivate patience.
My personal beast. Especially hard when one is stressed out on every side. When one's entire world has collapsed, changed, thrown one into the middle of a storm without any of the supplies or rescue equipment or supporting cast one has relied upon for decades--how to handle being a refugee (as Pema Chodron has termed it) in such a life-situation? How not to snap back? How not to yell a retort into the face that comes at you out of nowhere, yelling? How not to become angry and defensive when the first thing out of someone you are supposed to be able to trust is criticism or demand with no gentleness, no good nature? How to move through the mind's "understanding of their situation" but weather the immediate slap they deliver to one's face or nature? How to not become "the victim" or "the enemy" when the other person approaches with aggression, upset, misunderstanding and distrust? Learning the special kind of patience which slows things down is what is needed to be cultivated. It doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen in the next instant. It comes through the breathing, the blessing, the letting go. It comes through knowing one is a refugee without a safe platform from which to operate. It comes through falling into the darkness, knowing there is yelling, anger, pain, frustration, and lots and lots of fear--it just is--but not flinching from it. Accepting it and falling through it; breathing through it. Coming out the other side.
Three basic principles to consider for a healthier existence on this planet of chaos and light.
(Man, do I have a lot of homework to do!)
These can be vows of becoming and staying Buddhist, or they can be vows of marriage or commitment. They can be vows of non-violence. They can be vows of chastity, or if you are a religious person, vows of poverty, simplicity, obedience. They can be vows of upholding the laws of the country you are protecting. They can be vows of Light. Take seriously what you have agreed to take on and keep to it. Whatever it may be.
Refrain from outrageous conduct.
This doesn't mean cut your creative expression of individuality. It doesn't mean throw out the neon yellow and pink high-tops or cut your hair in a conservative style. It does mean that when you are in the world, being compassionate, helping out "others", that you don't create further separateness between yourself and those "others". They are us and we are them, inseparable. Don't become the flashy "hero" with all the press who rescues the "victims". Go deeper into the situations and step forward to examining what is going on from all angles. (When we help others, it is ourselves we are helping. It is ourselves who ultimately benefit.) Politicians often make a huge deal about the deals they have "cut"--spotlighting themselves as the saviors in the emergency situation. Looking deeper, we can see how that spotlight is the real reason help was given--not out of true commitment and compassion, but to accelerate the public persona of the politico. We need to be unafraid to put the lens of self-knowledge and self-examination (gently)on ourselves to understand what we are really doing--then, to use that knowledge to balance ourselves. To learn to truly "see" whom we are reaching out to, and why, and what needs to be done, without the hoopla of public thanks. Not so easy, this, since we have been taught, as Americans, that being a "hero" means lots of publicity and that only by seeing our name in the press validates our work. What is behind that? What needs in ourselves are being fulfilled by that? What does it do to the "victims"? How do they see themselves in such a situation?
Finally: Cultivate patience.
My personal beast. Especially hard when one is stressed out on every side. When one's entire world has collapsed, changed, thrown one into the middle of a storm without any of the supplies or rescue equipment or supporting cast one has relied upon for decades--how to handle being a refugee (as Pema Chodron has termed it) in such a life-situation? How not to snap back? How not to yell a retort into the face that comes at you out of nowhere, yelling? How not to become angry and defensive when the first thing out of someone you are supposed to be able to trust is criticism or demand with no gentleness, no good nature? How to move through the mind's "understanding of their situation" but weather the immediate slap they deliver to one's face or nature? How to not become "the victim" or "the enemy" when the other person approaches with aggression, upset, misunderstanding and distrust? Learning the special kind of patience which slows things down is what is needed to be cultivated. It doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen in the next instant. It comes through the breathing, the blessing, the letting go. It comes through knowing one is a refugee without a safe platform from which to operate. It comes through falling into the darkness, knowing there is yelling, anger, pain, frustration, and lots and lots of fear--it just is--but not flinching from it. Accepting it and falling through it; breathing through it. Coming out the other side.
Three basic principles to consider for a healthier existence on this planet of chaos and light.
(Man, do I have a lot of homework to do!)
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