Another way to approach "all activities should be done with one intention", according to Pema Chodron, is to think of doing everything with the idea of awakening one's heart. If one's heart begins to wake up, one's compassion begins to encircle everything. More importantly, it begins to enfold everyone--including one's own self. Does this make you "a wuss"? I don't think so. In fact, my guess is that you become a compassionate warrior--someone whose fight is aimed at the biggest enemy of all: ignorance. (Being asleep and unaware. Hating anything that scares you--including one's own judgments of self; one's own inadequacies.) To wake up and face those demons is to truly become brave.
I think that the significant difference is in the approach. A warrior of the heart approaches things with toughness, but with gentleness. (Think of the practice of T'ai Chi. Done slowly, as it is most often seen performed, it is a flowing dance of harmony and balance. However, in truth, it is a deadly martial art, taught as a lifelong exercise which enables even the most sleight person self-defense. (Speeded up, T'ai Chi is anything but "wussy".) T'ai Chi masters are some of the toughest people in the world. You don't mess with them.) So, too, becoming awake in one's heart strengthens one. Compassion is so powerful, it changes everything around us, while also changing US.
What is the practical approach, then, to accomplishing this change? How does it manifest in our daily lives? Chodron suggests that substituting the words "one intention" for "communication" might help. That is, do everything in a mindful and awake way, with the idea of communicating with others. Speak in such a way that the other guy (or woman) can actually hear you--is willing to listen to what you are saying. Don't pick a fight--nor continue an argument just to make a point. (The earplugs go in when that occurs.) Look and listen. Really LOOK at the other person. Really LISTEN. You don't (I don't) always have to have something to say back to that person. It isn't a tennis match.
Chodron suggests we practice being able to stay in the awkward moment of not knowing exactly what to say or what to do. Feeling irritated is a red flag that we need to stop and pay attention to the listening aspect of the conversation. Just stop. Listen. Breathe. This is a huge thing and hugely difficult. No wussiness here. (I think of everyday, almost every hour, how my mother hits every guilt and "we are polar opposites" button I have...arrrrgh! It is exactly the biggest challenge I can face-- learning how not to react in a hopeless, resentful manner. Learning to not react by falling into the argument nor blaming her nor shutting down to her. Man, what a challenge! Pema would probably say: "What an opportunity!" Stay awake. Don't shut down. Don't respond in a closed way. Keep your heart open. Watch. Listen. Breathe.) Stay present but don't engage in mindless action.
This is so difficult! To face these situations where one actually lives! Ongoing. Relentless. On all sides. Just to realize that communication intention means looking for the kindness in the situation and being willing to stay in the uncomfortable (or painful) realization that one might not know what to do. Nor,what to say. Not to run away because of the awkwardness. Not to run away from the irritation. Not to run away from the hurt. (My own or the other person's). Not to retaliate out of frustration or upset. OMG!
When we condense this down, it is mind-blowing. When we practice it mindfully, in every waking moment, in every situation, it becomes the most intense heart-warrior training there is. Is it possible to do? Well, since there is also the teaching of abandoning hope of fruition, perhaps.
Breathe.
Listen.
Watch.
Stay open.
Then, breathe again.
I think that the significant difference is in the approach. A warrior of the heart approaches things with toughness, but with gentleness. (Think of the practice of T'ai Chi. Done slowly, as it is most often seen performed, it is a flowing dance of harmony and balance. However, in truth, it is a deadly martial art, taught as a lifelong exercise which enables even the most sleight person self-defense. (Speeded up, T'ai Chi is anything but "wussy".) T'ai Chi masters are some of the toughest people in the world. You don't mess with them.) So, too, becoming awake in one's heart strengthens one. Compassion is so powerful, it changes everything around us, while also changing US.
What is the practical approach, then, to accomplishing this change? How does it manifest in our daily lives? Chodron suggests that substituting the words "one intention" for "communication" might help. That is, do everything in a mindful and awake way, with the idea of communicating with others. Speak in such a way that the other guy (or woman) can actually hear you--is willing to listen to what you are saying. Don't pick a fight--nor continue an argument just to make a point. (The earplugs go in when that occurs.) Look and listen. Really LOOK at the other person. Really LISTEN. You don't (I don't) always have to have something to say back to that person. It isn't a tennis match.
Chodron suggests we practice being able to stay in the awkward moment of not knowing exactly what to say or what to do. Feeling irritated is a red flag that we need to stop and pay attention to the listening aspect of the conversation. Just stop. Listen. Breathe. This is a huge thing and hugely difficult. No wussiness here. (I think of everyday, almost every hour, how my mother hits every guilt and "we are polar opposites" button I have...arrrrgh! It is exactly the biggest challenge I can face-- learning how not to react in a hopeless, resentful manner. Learning to not react by falling into the argument nor blaming her nor shutting down to her. Man, what a challenge! Pema would probably say: "What an opportunity!" Stay awake. Don't shut down. Don't respond in a closed way. Keep your heart open. Watch. Listen. Breathe.) Stay present but don't engage in mindless action.
This is so difficult! To face these situations where one actually lives! Ongoing. Relentless. On all sides. Just to realize that communication intention means looking for the kindness in the situation and being willing to stay in the uncomfortable (or painful) realization that one might not know what to do. Nor,what to say. Not to run away because of the awkwardness. Not to run away from the irritation. Not to run away from the hurt. (My own or the other person's). Not to retaliate out of frustration or upset. OMG!
When we condense this down, it is mind-blowing. When we practice it mindfully, in every waking moment, in every situation, it becomes the most intense heart-warrior training there is. Is it possible to do? Well, since there is also the teaching of abandoning hope of fruition, perhaps.
Breathe.
Listen.
Watch.
Stay open.
Then, breathe again.
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