All dharma agrees at one point.
All teachings, all practices agree at one point.
Loving kindness; the soft spot of the heart, the bodhichitta, is in everyone; it is in ourselves.
What is the difference between seeing (and studying and pondering) that harm has been done (to ourselves, to others) and blaming?
How not to simply swallow the self-righteous finger-pointing and harsh criticism(the sermons) delivered in public, by people who, themselves, should take a moment and follow their own directions?
How not to be a wuss, and yet, to also awaken that bodhichitta? To enlarge and unencumber that soft-spot? (How to recognize it in others, as well as ourselves?) Not to give up on others, even when they are most hurtful? (Most critical?) Most blaming?
How not to rely on even those we love, to take "our side" and to honestly "see our point" or "stand up for us?
How to stand up and be present for our own hearts? (How not to be a wuss, yet still, to be a student of Buddhism?)
Perhaps it is to recognize and be willing to see that "them" is "us".
We all play both roles.
We cause and feel suffering. We long for peace and beauty but we fall apart at lack of control; we become irritated and exhausted and angry when "life" (suffering) interrupts our practice; our meditation; our best thoughts.
The teachers tell us: this is the grand design. It is in these moments that we can wake up to the possibility. We can practice this breathing; this prayer; this blessing of others and ourselves; this tonglen meditation.
ALL paths, all dharma, all teachings, all difficulties, all unwanted suffering, all unplanned disasters and fearful experiences lead us forward. (Slowly or on the fast track, everything is the material of Enlightenment.)
Even when we fuck up--or when others, around us, fuck us up--or fuck everything around them. Even then. (Especially then.)
How can I examine (and make friends with) my own feelings of pain? Of outrage? Of anger? Of fear and frustration? How can I then learn to unravel those emotions--my own and those swirling around me? (Not me vs. them, but me AND them...)
Breathe in those raw feelings. (My own; others.) Breathe out relief; forgiveness; blessings. Do this enough, in every situation, it will change.
I will change.
Tonight, I write as an angry student of Buddhism, with a Beginner's Mind, caught in the vortex of family emergency and drama, held together only by breath.
One breath at a time.
All teachings, all practices agree at one point.
Loving kindness; the soft spot of the heart, the bodhichitta, is in everyone; it is in ourselves.
What is the difference between seeing (and studying and pondering) that harm has been done (to ourselves, to others) and blaming?
How not to simply swallow the self-righteous finger-pointing and harsh criticism(the sermons) delivered in public, by people who, themselves, should take a moment and follow their own directions?
How not to be a wuss, and yet, to also awaken that bodhichitta? To enlarge and unencumber that soft-spot? (How to recognize it in others, as well as ourselves?) Not to give up on others, even when they are most hurtful? (Most critical?) Most blaming?
How not to rely on even those we love, to take "our side" and to honestly "see our point" or "stand up for us?
How to stand up and be present for our own hearts? (How not to be a wuss, yet still, to be a student of Buddhism?)
Perhaps it is to recognize and be willing to see that "them" is "us".
We all play both roles.
We cause and feel suffering. We long for peace and beauty but we fall apart at lack of control; we become irritated and exhausted and angry when "life" (suffering) interrupts our practice; our meditation; our best thoughts.
The teachers tell us: this is the grand design. It is in these moments that we can wake up to the possibility. We can practice this breathing; this prayer; this blessing of others and ourselves; this tonglen meditation.
ALL paths, all dharma, all teachings, all difficulties, all unwanted suffering, all unplanned disasters and fearful experiences lead us forward. (Slowly or on the fast track, everything is the material of Enlightenment.)
Even when we fuck up--or when others, around us, fuck us up--or fuck everything around them. Even then. (Especially then.)
How can I examine (and make friends with) my own feelings of pain? Of outrage? Of anger? Of fear and frustration? How can I then learn to unravel those emotions--my own and those swirling around me? (Not me vs. them, but me AND them...)
Breathe in those raw feelings. (My own; others.) Breathe out relief; forgiveness; blessings. Do this enough, in every situation, it will change.
I will change.
Tonight, I write as an angry student of Buddhism, with a Beginner's Mind, caught in the vortex of family emergency and drama, held together only by breath.
One breath at a time.
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