Lojong slogan of the week: "Don't transfer the ox's load to the cow".
More than trying to duck work, I think this radically enters our emotional life. (At least that is how it translates into my life.)We must own our own "stuff". If we are pissed off, we have to admit it to ourselves and deal with the feelings--or the situation, if the situation can be dealt with in a compassionate way. If we are dreading a meeting or feeling that we must spend time with people who drain us or must attend an event because it is "expected" that we do so, I think we have to own the negative emotions swirling around these situations, and examine them. (Why do I dread this so much? What about this person drains me? Why do I dislike attending this meeting?)
So often it becomes "the cow's burden". That is, instead of exploring our own emotions, we (I) push them off--onto "the cow"-- and treat people poorly when it is not the people, but the situation I hate.
I also feel this coming from people around me, at times. (And if everyone at the meeting, or the mandatory dinner, or the bad performance, is feeling this way, it can become a veritable nightmare.)
Anger, pettiness, jealousy, lousy comments, mean-spirited judgments, (even fighting) breaks out. (Or is this just a "tribal" thing?) People leave, vowing not to return, not to make further connections, not to work, again, with this individual. Or, they (we) spend the rest of the evening altering our consciousness, and becoming snarky about the rest of the "attendees". (Not a pretty sight at any time.)
What often gets "passed off" as entertaining quips, or sophisticated insight, may only be unexamined hostility hosed down by a few cocktails.
Putting our ox-load of emotional baggage on the back of the cow, instead of unloading, unpacking and maybe even discarding the contents, is what the Lojong phrase implies. (Or so I feel.)
Of course, if you are one of those people who constantly tries to delegate everything away from yourself, perhaps you do need to take the phrase literally...
We unpack the emotional baggage via meditation. Instead of pushing it down or pretending it isn't at the core of upset, we bring it out, into the light. Examining it; owning it; naming it; dealing with it, is allowing "the ox" to carry the load.
Besides, the ox is the stronger animal. A cow is easily broken when used as a beast of burden... Nobody wants a broken cow.
More than trying to duck work, I think this radically enters our emotional life. (At least that is how it translates into my life.)We must own our own "stuff". If we are pissed off, we have to admit it to ourselves and deal with the feelings--or the situation, if the situation can be dealt with in a compassionate way. If we are dreading a meeting or feeling that we must spend time with people who drain us or must attend an event because it is "expected" that we do so, I think we have to own the negative emotions swirling around these situations, and examine them. (Why do I dread this so much? What about this person drains me? Why do I dislike attending this meeting?)
So often it becomes "the cow's burden". That is, instead of exploring our own emotions, we (I) push them off--onto "the cow"-- and treat people poorly when it is not the people, but the situation I hate.
I also feel this coming from people around me, at times. (And if everyone at the meeting, or the mandatory dinner, or the bad performance, is feeling this way, it can become a veritable nightmare.)
Anger, pettiness, jealousy, lousy comments, mean-spirited judgments, (even fighting) breaks out. (Or is this just a "tribal" thing?) People leave, vowing not to return, not to make further connections, not to work, again, with this individual. Or, they (we) spend the rest of the evening altering our consciousness, and becoming snarky about the rest of the "attendees". (Not a pretty sight at any time.)
What often gets "passed off" as entertaining quips, or sophisticated insight, may only be unexamined hostility hosed down by a few cocktails.
Putting our ox-load of emotional baggage on the back of the cow, instead of unloading, unpacking and maybe even discarding the contents, is what the Lojong phrase implies. (Or so I feel.)
Of course, if you are one of those people who constantly tries to delegate everything away from yourself, perhaps you do need to take the phrase literally...
We unpack the emotional baggage via meditation. Instead of pushing it down or pretending it isn't at the core of upset, we bring it out, into the light. Examining it; owning it; naming it; dealing with it, is allowing "the ox" to carry the load.
Besides, the ox is the stronger animal. A cow is easily broken when used as a beast of burden... Nobody wants a broken cow.
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