The lojong slogan of the day is simply: Don't malign others.
Well, not exactly simple...of course.
Easy to understand, the need to work on not saying bad stuff about anyotherbody, of course, of course. Easy to understand how it is bad karma and unwise for one's own mental health to gossip about people, in general. However, "not maligning" doesn't just let it rest on saying/repeating negativities.
Of course.
"Not maligning others" makes us take a look at how, when we repeat "crap" about people, there is something in that fertilizer that makes ugly stuff in us bloom. (If I repeat, or feel, and then share, how "Mary" bugs me with all of her constant whining, perhaps there is something a bit deeper than "Mary's" tone of voice.) I may follow my criticism of "Mary" with the justification that I want to "fill my life with only positive energy". However, what if I took a bit to get to understand where "Mary's" dissatisfaction is coming from--that is, to get to KNOW "Mary"...what then? Perhaps "Mary" is suffering.(Or, perhaps "Mary" is the most positive person I might ever meet again, but just going through a bit of a rough patch.) What if I stuck around a little longer? What if I paid attention a bit more closely? What if I risked honestly getting to the heart of "Mary"?
Maybe it isn't even "Mary" or her whining...perhaps "Mary" reminds me of someone in my past? An "ex" who used to complain, even after winning the Lottery? A boss who sighed, because his Mercedes wasn't the "correct shade of champagne", off the lot ? Another author whose newest book ONLY made her a hundred thousand last year? Or my parents, disappointed with the fact that my report card had one B+, amid all the other A's? Who does "Mary" stand-in for, in my life? Why do I find it so easy to conjecture what makes her "a pain in the butt to be around because of her negativity"? Why do I repeat every bit of gossip I hear about her--to as many people I meet, after hearing it? (Why is it the last thing I think about before falling asleep on the day I receive the tidbit--and maybe the first thing I ponder, upon waking?) Why is MY consciousness hooked on spreading rumors about this person?
See? Not so simple. (Of course.)
In my life, gossip, both bad and good, has also scarred me. I have had experiences of projection, whereupon people placed their own "scenarios" on my head. (No, I did not participate in that particular activity! No, I was not at that specific location! No, I did not make a pass at that individual! No, not only did I never state that fact, I never even thought that thought! I don't hold ...whatever belief...! ) The list goes on and on. How often I may forget how hurt I was, because of an erroneous assumption made by strangers--some of whom later became bosom buddies--after taking time to ferret out the facts and to get to know me. The true me. The truth about me. (The heart-space.)
My meditation, these days, contains this lojong phrase, because it applies, directly, to all the soft places I am trying to expose.
Let's call them: "Mary".*
*(No reference to any Mary, living or dead.)
Well, not exactly simple...of course.
Easy to understand, the need to work on not saying bad stuff about anyotherbody, of course, of course. Easy to understand how it is bad karma and unwise for one's own mental health to gossip about people, in general. However, "not maligning" doesn't just let it rest on saying/repeating negativities.
Of course.
"Not maligning others" makes us take a look at how, when we repeat "crap" about people, there is something in that fertilizer that makes ugly stuff in us bloom. (If I repeat, or feel, and then share, how "Mary" bugs me with all of her constant whining, perhaps there is something a bit deeper than "Mary's" tone of voice.) I may follow my criticism of "Mary" with the justification that I want to "fill my life with only positive energy". However, what if I took a bit to get to understand where "Mary's" dissatisfaction is coming from--that is, to get to KNOW "Mary"...what then? Perhaps "Mary" is suffering.(Or, perhaps "Mary" is the most positive person I might ever meet again, but just going through a bit of a rough patch.) What if I stuck around a little longer? What if I paid attention a bit more closely? What if I risked honestly getting to the heart of "Mary"?
Maybe it isn't even "Mary" or her whining...perhaps "Mary" reminds me of someone in my past? An "ex" who used to complain, even after winning the Lottery? A boss who sighed, because his Mercedes wasn't the "correct shade of champagne", off the lot ? Another author whose newest book ONLY made her a hundred thousand last year? Or my parents, disappointed with the fact that my report card had one B+, amid all the other A's? Who does "Mary" stand-in for, in my life? Why do I find it so easy to conjecture what makes her "a pain in the butt to be around because of her negativity"? Why do I repeat every bit of gossip I hear about her--to as many people I meet, after hearing it? (Why is it the last thing I think about before falling asleep on the day I receive the tidbit--and maybe the first thing I ponder, upon waking?) Why is MY consciousness hooked on spreading rumors about this person?
See? Not so simple. (Of course.)
In my life, gossip, both bad and good, has also scarred me. I have had experiences of projection, whereupon people placed their own "scenarios" on my head. (No, I did not participate in that particular activity! No, I was not at that specific location! No, I did not make a pass at that individual! No, not only did I never state that fact, I never even thought that thought! I don't hold ...whatever belief...! ) The list goes on and on. How often I may forget how hurt I was, because of an erroneous assumption made by strangers--some of whom later became bosom buddies--after taking time to ferret out the facts and to get to know me. The true me. The truth about me. (The heart-space.)
My meditation, these days, contains this lojong phrase, because it applies, directly, to all the soft places I am trying to expose.
Let's call them: "Mary".*
*(No reference to any Mary, living or dead.)
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