Wednesday, March 12, 2014

SENDING AND TAKING: begin here

The Lojong slogans suggest that the practice of sending out kindness, healing, light, peace, happiness, etc. begins where you begin. With yourself. (On the sofa. Behind the wheel. In line at the grocery store. In the shower. On your butt,meditating, even for the first time.)  So too, the taking in of all that is ugly, painful, messy, smelly and unloveable: begin where you stand/sit. Now.( Not later. Not after dinner. Not before bed. Not when you get home from the gym.) Now. On the spot.




Using your breath as the pathway, just begin. In breath: take in the bad stuff--the ripe stuff--the stuff you are most embarrassed by in yourself. Choose one trait, quality or circumstance  you wish you didn't have to deal with. Breathe it in. Remember how it felt; examine the details; really look at the you of you as you engage in that noxious behavior. (It might be losing your cool over something unimportant; it might be raging against Society; it might be hating the person who demands you take out the trash at this second! It might be eating that piece of cheesecake at 2 a.m. or drinking the last half-glass of wine in the bottle...or rolling that extra big blunt before anyone noticed...) Any addictive behavior you haven't been able to snap; any aggressive actions you couldn't control; anything negative or hateful in yourself--just, for a moment, on the in-breath, take it in.




The trick is not to hold it and push it down, unexamined, away, hidden. That strategy can cause all sorts of serious consequences--maybe even cancer! (No place for repression in Buddhist strategy! )Bringing to light all things is where we begin. So, after  you "take it in" (visualize it and breathe in), then, let it go.




Just let it go.


Breathe it out and send peace to yourself. You. The heinous, unlovable, addicted perpetrator. (Yourself.) Breathe out all peace, joy, light, happiness and healing to yourself.


 Two breaths.


In and out. Nothing held down. Nothing repressed. No lectures no expectations no promises of "change"--just an acceptance of what occurs; an examination of how it feels/felt when it occurs; and a letting go. Then, on that out-breath, a blessing: to the Unloved One. (You.)




Waiting in line to buy movie tickets. Pumping gas. During the commercials while watching t.v. Popping corn. Just breathe. (If you were into Zen, it might be a bit different. In Zen, you are supposed to be paying attention with total concentration on pumping the gas, sweeping the floor, popping the corn, etc.) But we aren't following those instructions, here. Right now, we are practicing "baby Tonglen"--first step breathing--Beginner's Mind breath.


In: all the bad stuff.
Out: blessings to the perpetrators. Healing to the hoarders of negativity: ourselves.



Later, when one makes the commitment to seriously sit and meditate, there are a few other "steps". Some more examinations of all those "monkey mind thoughts" that crop up when we are trying to pay attention to our breath...(just call them what they are: thinking...let them go off into the trees with the rest...back to sitting and watching the breath...) Then, using the Tonglen practice to extend it to others going through their own hellish experiences.




In breath: I take in all the pain of those whose lovers/spouses/partners have left them.
Out breath: I send them healing; I send them peace; I send them an end to the pain of loss.




If you practice this long enough and hard enough you get to a place of ALSO taking in the guilt and pain of those who were the  betrayers-- sending THEM a blessing for their own healing. But that's down the line. First baby-steps: heal yourself.


Why? Because, as we practice this breathing-blessing, we are doing it for our own selves. When we create kindness in the world, we create it in ourselves. When we practice peacefulness in the world, we bring peacefulness to ourselves. Science has proven that all things, all people are connected in this Web of Life, right? So, too, the practice of blessing/healing. So, heal yourself, first. Then, extend it to those you love. Continue, as you progress down the path, to those who have done you "wrong" or offer you the most "lessons" or that you downright despise! Tonglen covers us all.




Does meditation change us overnight? Does it make us better people? Does it radicalize the way we walk through the world? Will we speak more softly? Will be dress more simply? Will we give up all of our worldly attachments? Stop voting? Stop driving? Go vegetarian?




Maybe. Maybe not. Since it is a PROCESS that holds, at its center, TRANSFORMATION, things will change. (But, things are always changing.) Isn't that the point? For each practitioner, the journey will be unique. (The ancient texts promise that we all have it inside of us, already.) Perfection. Peace. Everything we need. We have just fallen asleep, or forgotten. Meditation is a way to finally wake up to this reality. To understand. Meditation is a lifelong process. It isn't about being someone you aren't. It is about accepting, loving and living inside yourself, as you really are-- awake from this dream.




Tonglen is a way of making space, to discover these facts. Of letting go of the guilt, the aggression, the judgmental qualities most of us carry, creating our own hells. It is also a way of engaging the healing power (spiritual) we all are carrying, unaware. It is a way of not getting overcome with the illusions of Evil that bombard us, everyday. It is a way of doing something that is positive, when we are feeling most lost, most scared, most negative. Using our most essential gift--our breath--as the path into that peaceful state.(Our breath, which is always accessible, which is our birthright and our clearest marker of LIFE.)


It is a way of helping ourselves, first, because, only then, can we reach out to others, unselfishly. Whole heartedly. Cleanly. Without expectations. Without the need for laurels or any kind of rewards. Without making "the other" the enemy.(Or reducing "the other" to someone "less than" ourselves...)Imagine if all teachers, all social workers, all cops, all doctors and nurses and firefighters and soldiers, all  psychiatrists and counselors, ALL LAWYERS practiced this breath-healing! What a different world it might be. (All religious, all politicos, all artists, all parents...) 




I believe this stuff, because it has begun to help me survive in unfamiliar situations and on unsteady ground. Not all at once. But, bit by bit. Constant.(Like breathing.) It has helped me slow down and pause, if only for a second, if only incompletely-- to begin to take that moment to change my reaction, just a bit. Or, to examine that feeling. Through this magnifying glass, I can begin to see how I react and why I react and choose to react in a different way. That choice begins to change me--and maybe the world--for the better.




Hey, what do I know?
The only way you will know is to try it for yourself...
(What's to lose, in line, at Wal-Mart? Eh?)    

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