What does one do with a broken heart?
I don't mean a weird rhythm, heart attack nor death, nor do I mean a romantic interlude gone south. I mean what does one do when one's spiritual trust rejects one's life? When one's spiritual mentors turn cold; go silent; speak in untruths and misleads? When the people who are at once hugging one in fellowship; prodding one back (either using encouragement or guilt--whichever works); reminding one of the beauty and warmth of a "viable community"; speaking of all enclusion and need for vital members who exude committment and talent and energy; who tell you "Come home. Get involved. Believe we have changed and now welcome you back...", turn silent. Turn their eyes away. Turn their mouths off the welcome phrases. Let you know, behind closed doors, that really, your life choices are so wrong you will never be included again. Not really. Not where it counts.
Any talents; gifts; qualities or energy you possess and are willing to donate--are unwanted.
Tainted. Simply because of who you are. Who you have been in the past. Who you "might" be--in their eyes. Though God makes no mistakes. Though you are who you are as are every creature in Creation is meant and designed to be. Though from the pulpit echoes of the Prodigal Son and Loving one's neighbor and believing in the continuing imperfection of all men and the redemptive power of the Christ who forgives Everything falls on our heads every liturgical celebration, you are not wanted.
Now that you have shown them remorse and tried to re-enter the fold; now that you have admitted your mistakes or days of doubt and asked forgiveness; now that you "know who you are"--and accept second or third class status and lack of any say in your own life among them, and know that you are not valued; not heeded; not truly cared about, (no matter that generations of your blood have put lifefunds into their buildings;their Hierarchy's success...have given when it was a familial sacrifice to give...have proven devotion and swallowed their own cross generational pride in bowing their heads)now that you have become the example of someone who knows "the edges" and where one must sit their point is made. You are no longer of interest. You have been brought down; cowed; embarrassed publicly; had your hope for reuniting dashed on the rocks of their judgments yet again.
Go away, now.
They've made their point.
Go away.
Is there any confusion why I hold to the Buddhist profession: "My religion is Kindness." ?
Amen.
I don't mean a weird rhythm, heart attack nor death, nor do I mean a romantic interlude gone south. I mean what does one do when one's spiritual trust rejects one's life? When one's spiritual mentors turn cold; go silent; speak in untruths and misleads? When the people who are at once hugging one in fellowship; prodding one back (either using encouragement or guilt--whichever works); reminding one of the beauty and warmth of a "viable community"; speaking of all enclusion and need for vital members who exude committment and talent and energy; who tell you "Come home. Get involved. Believe we have changed and now welcome you back...", turn silent. Turn their eyes away. Turn their mouths off the welcome phrases. Let you know, behind closed doors, that really, your life choices are so wrong you will never be included again. Not really. Not where it counts.
Any talents; gifts; qualities or energy you possess and are willing to donate--are unwanted.
Tainted. Simply because of who you are. Who you have been in the past. Who you "might" be--in their eyes. Though God makes no mistakes. Though you are who you are as are every creature in Creation is meant and designed to be. Though from the pulpit echoes of the Prodigal Son and Loving one's neighbor and believing in the continuing imperfection of all men and the redemptive power of the Christ who forgives Everything falls on our heads every liturgical celebration, you are not wanted.
Now that you have shown them remorse and tried to re-enter the fold; now that you have admitted your mistakes or days of doubt and asked forgiveness; now that you "know who you are"--and accept second or third class status and lack of any say in your own life among them, and know that you are not valued; not heeded; not truly cared about, (no matter that generations of your blood have put lifefunds into their buildings;their Hierarchy's success...have given when it was a familial sacrifice to give...have proven devotion and swallowed their own cross generational pride in bowing their heads)now that you have become the example of someone who knows "the edges" and where one must sit their point is made. You are no longer of interest. You have been brought down; cowed; embarrassed publicly; had your hope for reuniting dashed on the rocks of their judgments yet again.
Go away, now.
They've made their point.
Go away.
Is there any confusion why I hold to the Buddhist profession: "My religion is Kindness." ?
Amen.
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