It's soon to be Valentine's Day. Another problematic holiday in America...If you aren't in a couple, you just want to call in sick (if you have a job...or are at school...), stay in bed, eat junk food and listen to Adele.
If you ARE in a couple, there's a whole other list of obstacles to overcome.
How much do you spend on your "Beloved"? I mean, in comparison to your friends and their "honeys"?
In comparison to your partner...who pays more? Or, have you opted out of that rat race and decided, like a lot of people during the winter holidays, to set a point of budgetary limit and not to exceed it? (Of course, if one does go over the limit, what does that mean, really? Sabotage? Guilt? Lack of communication? Regret? Camouflage? Or, what if the PERFECT GIFT is a dollar or two overlimit...what to do then?)
The question of what is the perfect gift is also a matter that makes most people begin to sweat on February 1.
Flowers? Candy? (Diets--allergies--food restrictions--personal preferences...OMG!) Clothing? (What's too intimate? What says, "This is really for my pleasure, more than yours?" and what says, "I know you want to be comfortable, but this makes you look like a pregnant cow"?) If you get something on sale, does that count? What about fit? If you buy online and the "Beloved" goes online and sees something even better, and needs to exchange your choice because of a fitting problem, but sees a better gift and buys it--does that remove all romance? If your sister-in-law gets a Range Rover for Valentine's Day and you get a Whitman Sampler, what's conversation like at the next family dinner?
In the old days, you could fall back on cards. Hand-made lace and glitter--perhaps stuffed with those terrible tasting little hearts with the great sayings --or, if you were truly serious--a heart- shaped lollipop. (Chocolates in boxes with red ribbons and roses were for adults.) Schools often broke mid-day, for the distribution of valentines.
In Catholic School, the nuns went out of their way to make sure EVERYONE GIVES EVERYONE ELSE a card. (Of course this never worked.) I remember always feeling slightly queasy as I looked around the classroom. The cutest girl got the biggest pile--or at least the biggest cards. The poorest kid got the generics--never a candy heart in sight. (Catholic guilt began early, in these chalkdusty rooms.)
Of course, I must admit, to offset the awkwardness, there were Bible stories that made you glad you weren't in a binding couple. Not just Adam and Eve headed for Big Trouble over the first gift-exchange, but Cain and Abel, David and Goliath, Salome and St.John the Baptist, and even Mary Magdalene (as we know from the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar") in a neck to neck love triangle with Judas, over Jesus. (Being in a "couple" isn't simple...or even that safe.)
Shakespeare tried to warn us, over and over. A glance at the tragedies finds romantic love the root of all sadness and pain.(Familial love comes in a close second.) Don't take my word for it--go get your copy of "Othello" or "Hamlet". Check out "King Lear". (Don't forget "Macbeth", either.) Whereas the sonnets may be the "go to poems" for filling out love texts and e-mails, it is the truth between the lines, in the plays, that tells the real story. (Given "Romeo and Juliet", I think I prefer listening to Adele.)
Let's face it, coming so close after the Super Bowl, Valentine's Day is overkill--or maybe it has been constructed that way on purpose--a day for the sweethearts of Super Fans to make up for their lack of attention and romance these past cold weeks of winter...hmmmm.
I wonder what Tom Brady's wife will be e-mailing,on Feb.14th...
If you ARE in a couple, there's a whole other list of obstacles to overcome.
How much do you spend on your "Beloved"? I mean, in comparison to your friends and their "honeys"?
In comparison to your partner...who pays more? Or, have you opted out of that rat race and decided, like a lot of people during the winter holidays, to set a point of budgetary limit and not to exceed it? (Of course, if one does go over the limit, what does that mean, really? Sabotage? Guilt? Lack of communication? Regret? Camouflage? Or, what if the PERFECT GIFT is a dollar or two overlimit...what to do then?)
The question of what is the perfect gift is also a matter that makes most people begin to sweat on February 1.
Flowers? Candy? (Diets--allergies--food restrictions--personal preferences...OMG!) Clothing? (What's too intimate? What says, "This is really for my pleasure, more than yours?" and what says, "I know you want to be comfortable, but this makes you look like a pregnant cow"?) If you get something on sale, does that count? What about fit? If you buy online and the "Beloved" goes online and sees something even better, and needs to exchange your choice because of a fitting problem, but sees a better gift and buys it--does that remove all romance? If your sister-in-law gets a Range Rover for Valentine's Day and you get a Whitman Sampler, what's conversation like at the next family dinner?
In the old days, you could fall back on cards. Hand-made lace and glitter--perhaps stuffed with those terrible tasting little hearts with the great sayings --or, if you were truly serious--a heart- shaped lollipop. (Chocolates in boxes with red ribbons and roses were for adults.) Schools often broke mid-day, for the distribution of valentines.
In Catholic School, the nuns went out of their way to make sure EVERYONE GIVES EVERYONE ELSE a card. (Of course this never worked.) I remember always feeling slightly queasy as I looked around the classroom. The cutest girl got the biggest pile--or at least the biggest cards. The poorest kid got the generics--never a candy heart in sight. (Catholic guilt began early, in these chalkdusty rooms.)
Of course, I must admit, to offset the awkwardness, there were Bible stories that made you glad you weren't in a binding couple. Not just Adam and Eve headed for Big Trouble over the first gift-exchange, but Cain and Abel, David and Goliath, Salome and St.John the Baptist, and even Mary Magdalene (as we know from the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar") in a neck to neck love triangle with Judas, over Jesus. (Being in a "couple" isn't simple...or even that safe.)
Shakespeare tried to warn us, over and over. A glance at the tragedies finds romantic love the root of all sadness and pain.(Familial love comes in a close second.) Don't take my word for it--go get your copy of "Othello" or "Hamlet". Check out "King Lear". (Don't forget "Macbeth", either.) Whereas the sonnets may be the "go to poems" for filling out love texts and e-mails, it is the truth between the lines, in the plays, that tells the real story. (Given "Romeo and Juliet", I think I prefer listening to Adele.)
Let's face it, coming so close after the Super Bowl, Valentine's Day is overkill--or maybe it has been constructed that way on purpose--a day for the sweethearts of Super Fans to make up for their lack of attention and romance these past cold weeks of winter...hmmmm.
I wonder what Tom Brady's wife will be e-mailing,on Feb.14th...
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