This isn't just another "Farewell to Whitney" post. Though I send prayers for her soul and thanks for Voice over the years--Whitney's shocking (sort of) passage echoed a middle school student from Gardner, this week. Also a tortured soul--a foster kid who just couldn't take anything anymore--and hung herself in her grandmother's house. I was subbing at the time at the High School. It was not the admin office that informed me of what had occurred first thing that morning--it was the kids. My students poured into the Spanish class I was filling in for, and gave me the details. The girl's relative was in the class.
At no time during the day did the High School Office fill me in on any details for "how to handle this" with my students. I was shocked--and further shocked that there was no memorial service or even an all-school call to meditation or prayer or silence in that week. My niece told me that probably it was because the dead student was a middle schooler and not a high school student. (But her sibling is...)Also, evidently, the dead girl was not "really well known". Hmmm...Of course, that leads to all sorts of speculations.
Just like with Whitney. So ridiculed at the end. So many rumors, even at the height of her popularity--some of which make me wonder--how many people are forced to deny their truest selves in order to "fit"--in order to "pass"--in order to prosper? How many are really known--for their deepest hearts--in the end? And, would a life made free (and safe) have made a difference? Can any of us be really "known"? What would that cost?
Entail? Lead to?
As I reflect on lost family history--hidden secrets in a small town--the price of fame and fortune--the fickleness and pressure of the public eye--it all comes back to what we have created as a Society. What do we really value? If one makes it to the top of the trash heap, what is one, really, except King of the Trash? Is even that Title worth dying for, in the end?
Did Whitney, surrounded by not only her mentor, her friends and family, but the New Elite of the music industry, feel herself slipping, yet again? Or, was it just too much to hide, any longer, and not worth the cost of pretending? Did she take something to help her face the Public, this last event before the Grammys? Or, did she take something so she didn't have to face Anybody, at this Masquerade Party, again?
Like the middle school student this week, Whitney made sure she would be found. She would be remembered. She would be noticed. She wouldn't be alone, finally.
Why couldn't we have noticed, sooner? And maybe, been a bit more kind?
At no time during the day did the High School Office fill me in on any details for "how to handle this" with my students. I was shocked--and further shocked that there was no memorial service or even an all-school call to meditation or prayer or silence in that week. My niece told me that probably it was because the dead student was a middle schooler and not a high school student. (But her sibling is...)Also, evidently, the dead girl was not "really well known". Hmmm...Of course, that leads to all sorts of speculations.
Just like with Whitney. So ridiculed at the end. So many rumors, even at the height of her popularity--some of which make me wonder--how many people are forced to deny their truest selves in order to "fit"--in order to "pass"--in order to prosper? How many are really known--for their deepest hearts--in the end? And, would a life made free (and safe) have made a difference? Can any of us be really "known"? What would that cost?
Entail? Lead to?
As I reflect on lost family history--hidden secrets in a small town--the price of fame and fortune--the fickleness and pressure of the public eye--it all comes back to what we have created as a Society. What do we really value? If one makes it to the top of the trash heap, what is one, really, except King of the Trash? Is even that Title worth dying for, in the end?
Did Whitney, surrounded by not only her mentor, her friends and family, but the New Elite of the music industry, feel herself slipping, yet again? Or, was it just too much to hide, any longer, and not worth the cost of pretending? Did she take something to help her face the Public, this last event before the Grammys? Or, did she take something so she didn't have to face Anybody, at this Masquerade Party, again?
Like the middle school student this week, Whitney made sure she would be found. She would be remembered. She would be noticed. She wouldn't be alone, finally.
Why couldn't we have noticed, sooner? And maybe, been a bit more kind?
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