Another "dangerous time of year"...Solstice and Christ's Birth and sometimes the high holy days of other cultures, too...so many sensuous memories...so many regrets and failed hopes and sadness, ...all coming at us as the light moves into darkness. Even if it is a dream, it is a bit of a scary dream, isn't it?
In a long Buddhist slogan-teaching-phrase--there is a multi-pronged approach to overcoming resistance. I'm not going to break it down, here, because I've only begun to wrestle with it in my own life. However, one tiny part has jumped out from the text and moved onto my lap. It is about "feeding the ghosts".
It suggest that, like the holy man, Milarepa, in the old days, whose cave was filled with demons, it is only when we befriend the frightening ones and invite them to stay as long as they desire, do they, in fact, disappear. Fastest way to clear out the ghosts is to actually put out a tasty bite for them to gnosh--a bit of cake.(Real cake.) Along with an incantation: take this cake and make yourself at home, because you are truly welcomed. You show me what I'm most likely to avoid. You wake me up, even when I don't want to be awoken. For that, I am grateful. Manga!
I suppose, as I study this new set of tools, I will come upon more subtle ways to deal with my obstacles and resistance. However, in this particular season,(especially as I find myself a grown woman with a past, confined to a childhood bedroom surrounded by a dying present, faced with an unknown future,and few who actually know me, deeply, or even care to), the ghosts rise up in a multitude, invading both waking thoughts and dreams. (Ghosts of Christmas past; Ghosts of Christmas future?) They all look and sound the same: mostly in the guise of lost lovers and friends; people once so intimate that their passing out of everyday time seemed an impossibility--and yet--they are gone; disappeared; untrackable. Only returning as these whispering memories and unfinished tales. (Brrrrr.)
So now, I am going out for cake. I will begin to put it out, everyday. (Just tiny ones.) Just bites.(Ring Ding Juniors? Hostess cupcakes?) All with the incantation attached: for my Ghosts; may you actually come by; may you make yourself comfortable and known, finally; up front and visible. Even if I'm intimidated, I am thankful for your visitation.
Amen.
In a long Buddhist slogan-teaching-phrase--there is a multi-pronged approach to overcoming resistance. I'm not going to break it down, here, because I've only begun to wrestle with it in my own life. However, one tiny part has jumped out from the text and moved onto my lap. It is about "feeding the ghosts".
It suggest that, like the holy man, Milarepa, in the old days, whose cave was filled with demons, it is only when we befriend the frightening ones and invite them to stay as long as they desire, do they, in fact, disappear. Fastest way to clear out the ghosts is to actually put out a tasty bite for them to gnosh--a bit of cake.(Real cake.) Along with an incantation: take this cake and make yourself at home, because you are truly welcomed. You show me what I'm most likely to avoid. You wake me up, even when I don't want to be awoken. For that, I am grateful. Manga!
I suppose, as I study this new set of tools, I will come upon more subtle ways to deal with my obstacles and resistance. However, in this particular season,(especially as I find myself a grown woman with a past, confined to a childhood bedroom surrounded by a dying present, faced with an unknown future,and few who actually know me, deeply, or even care to), the ghosts rise up in a multitude, invading both waking thoughts and dreams. (Ghosts of Christmas past; Ghosts of Christmas future?) They all look and sound the same: mostly in the guise of lost lovers and friends; people once so intimate that their passing out of everyday time seemed an impossibility--and yet--they are gone; disappeared; untrackable. Only returning as these whispering memories and unfinished tales. (Brrrrr.)
So now, I am going out for cake. I will begin to put it out, everyday. (Just tiny ones.) Just bites.(Ring Ding Juniors? Hostess cupcakes?) All with the incantation attached: for my Ghosts; may you actually come by; may you make yourself comfortable and known, finally; up front and visible. Even if I'm intimidated, I am thankful for your visitation.
Amen.
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