Tomorrow there will be a lunar eclipse. In a fortnight, there follows a solar eclipse. In addition, planets are lining up in some configuration that is too complicated for me to totally understand. The astrologers I know are explaining it in great detail, on and off the web.
In ancient times, eclipses were portents of doom. In more recent ages,they are viewed as moments when changes in our lives occur--patterns of balance and enlightenment--if we choose. They most often appear in times of historical significance; at least such momentus double eclipses and alignments that are about to dance over our heads in the coming weeks, do.
I am not into astrology in a huge way. I respect patterns drawn from observations over thousands of years, though. That's just good scientific practice. Observe. Report. Theorize. Most thumbnail descriptions of personality traits of the Zodiac houses have come extremely close to actual people I've known (and dated...sigh). Enough so, to make me a fan--if not a practitioner; I am paying attention to this double eclipse event.
Evidently the solar eclipse is the rarer dance--especially followed by the other constellation alignments and some kind of cross in the sky. Astrologers are pointing out that it marks enormous changes in all our situations. (Given the severity of the Congressional vote over the last week, I would say this is right-on , for hundreds of thousands of us still unemployed, those without health insurance, with lost pensions, homes and nest eggs...as well as families dealing with loved ones far away, still at war.)
I am going to choose to use this time for self-evaluation and radical re-vamping. Perhaps it is time to leave this city, this coast, the life I've made for over thirty years. Not to run away but to actively pursue Destiny in another spot. I believe we are all born to glorious ends, we just have to find them. I'm going to choose this time to change my life in a powerful way that will maximize cleaning up loose karmic ends. It may not be the method I would have preferred, but in dealing with Heaven, one rarely has a choice; I'll take what is being offered.
Over the last five years, I've had to re-invent my professional self three times. This will be the fourth. That's significant. (Like the seasons. Like the edges of the cross in the sky coming into alignment on July 11th.) Four times I've been asked to give away, sell or just walk from accumulated possessions that offered "identity" and comfort and familiarity. (That were associated with the history of myself, over thirty years.) Each time was difficult and each beginning begun from scratch. This time, it will be to strip my life down into a few boxes mailed to the new life; two pieces of luggage-- a giant dufflebag for the clothes I'm "allowed" to take with me--(How to decide? What will I need? What will I be dressing FOR?) and a single carry-on for lap-top, phone, wallet and meds. (I figure I'm going to need a lot of aspirin in the coming days...) Thanks to the airlines, that's it. Can't believe my life has come to this...
I feel like all the refugees I've ever met-- as they have described feeling. I feel as if I am evacuating a war zone, minus the bombs. I feel like the animals I've seen fleeing from wildfires--fear of unknown blazing in the whites of their eyes--their pupils filled with panic. (I wonder what people see in my eyes?) No time, yet, for regret. Just action. Movement. Re-alignment of one's life.
When I disclosed to a close friend, my stomach-ache panic attack the other night, she told me that stress, does, indeed cause stomach-aches--but to use "Tums of the mind" to quell it. I like that. "Tums of the mind". I took the advice. (Guess I'd prefer Pepcid of the mind, though.)
I guess, too, emotionally, I feel like the shadowpeople I have observed in the city streets. Everything they own packed into a single cart. Knowing they know the alleys and corners of the buildings better than anyone living inside, yet, they have no access. (At least I imagine some of them feel this dislocation.) Unlike them, I still have a few choices.
If I ask what Jesus would do, what Buddha would do, what Kali or Shiva or The Prophet would do, my only answer is "look up". What else can we do? (Really.) So may whatever the eclipses bring, bring some sort of positive power. May the stars above our heads align in joy. May this horrible, heavy, miasma we have been swimming through, dissipate and allow us to be free. May we find safe harbor, finally. And peace.
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